My sex drive currently is almost non-existent. The couple of reasons I feel for this situation is not being able to find a man that I'm turned on enough by to even want to be sexual. The past several relationships have been sorely lacking in reasons for me to be stimulated. There just isn't very good dating material out here in the country, or at least not for my unusual standards.
I like intelligent men who have more to talk about than their pick up trucks and cows.
But mostly, I think I've jaded myself. I've been with so many men that I've become very selective in what I want out of sex. And I've gotten to the point, if I don't get what I like, then I don't want anything at all. Most men just aren't worth the effort it takes in being super sexual and participating in things I don't particularly like. I used to do everything I could to please a man, even if I didn't care for the act, but now, I just don't care enough to put that kind of effort in with someone I'm not in love with.
I've also gotten lazy this past year. I find I want to be "serviced" more than I want a mutual exchange of excitement or foreplay.
Out of all the men I've been with, and there have been a lot, only three raise to the top of being a perfect match for me. Lately I find I want a really hard dick, a man who is not too overweight and doesn't have a large belly, (it is hard putting too fat bellies together), who has the energy to move fast and who does not take forever to cum. Although almost any penis will do, I've grown to like a certain size that fits into my vagina perfectly, both width and length.
Although I don't admit it to most men, there is a "perfect fit" and I sure enjoy it when it is perfect. The "perfect fit" is different for every woman because, just like the men, women's bodies are all different sizes and what is comfortable to one, may not be comfortable to another.
I found this to be true one time when a shared a lover with a girlfriend. He was absolutely perfect for me, one of the best lovers I've ever had, but she didn't like him at all. That was very strange for me, but it all makes sense when you analysis it in detail.
I have always said my brain was the largest sex organ I have and it is true. If I'm really into a man, nothing matters. When I was with the man I'm in love with, I would do anything for him, enjoying every minute, and didn't care whether we had sex or not. But even with a much better physical lover, some of the best, I've just laid there and not enjoyed myself at all. So for me, sex not to mention love making, is all about how turned on I am by the man himself.
And I've been with so many men, not many men interest me anymore. It takes a very special person to get me to even want to try. This is coming from a woman who has done it all and been very wild in my swinging days.
I do not regret all my sexual activity, in fact just the opposite. I am proud I've delivered myself from the chains of sexual repression and I've enjoyed all the exploring. Learned a lot, did what I wanted and discovered things about myself I might not have ever learned, so all is not lost. But my sex drive sure is for right now. And I don't even mind.
Without the pull of sexual activity, if frees you up from not having to do all the other dull things than go with pleasing a man, like cooking for him, watching sports, letting him talk for hours about nonsense and feeling used because when he wants sex, you pretty much are expected to want it too. And most men want it a lot in the first few encounters. By the time they lose interest in you, you are so ready for them to leave.
Living without sex is probably a good thing for me, at least for awhile. Sex will mean more when I do find a man I enjoy the other 90% of the time.
I'm sure age has something to do with slowing down, but then I keep running into men my age who can't perform, so it works both ways.
It is this time in life where it would be nice to have a man you've been with for years, that you truly love and loves you. No expectations, no demands, no pressure to preform, just everyday life with a little spice from time to time.
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